You Are Amazing by Sonia Choquette-Tully

Author:Sonia Choquette-Tully
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2017-05-30T04:00:00+00:00

* * *

DON’T DRINK THE POISON

Recently we were in an airport traveling to a workshop together and watched a man knock over an elderly woman during the boarding process because he wanted to be the first person on the airplane. As all the other passengers rushed to help the woman, the man seemed genuinely surprised that anyone would take offense at his behavior. When we get stressed out (such as in line at the airport or under duress for an upcoming deadline), our brains disconnect from something called the frontal cortex. When this disconnect happens, we end up acting in insensitive, rude, obtuse, unconscious, or just purposefully inflammatory ways because we are disconnected from the more evolved parts of our human consciousness.

Dealing with others when they are in this mental state is exhausting and will usually end up creating an equal reaction in your own body if you’re not paying attention. Have you ever gotten blindsided with angry energy by a friend or family member, just to turn around and unload that same energy on to someone else? We know we’ve been guilty of it from time to time. Even by accident, all that funky energy will try to find an outlet, and dealing with someone’s shitty energy will mean learning how to get rid of it without throwing it off you and onto some unsuspecting victim.

We all handle things in different ways. Some choose to scream and shout, while others shut down, preferring to ignore the conflict in hopes that it will go away. In our family, when we start fights with each other or hurt each other’s feelings, we say to one another, “Did you poop in the pool?” It’s a quick way to point out someone’s made a mistake and they need to clean it up. We’re humans, we will make thousands of mistakes—it’s called learning. But if we make a mistake, we have to clean it up. And if someone else makes a mistake, it’s important to let them know so they have an opportunity to clean it up. If we don’t let people correct their mistakes, it’s easy to start telling stories, stay angry, and let that anger turn into resentment. Anger can be seductive; it allows us to feel in control. When used in a healthy way, it communicates boundaries, as in, “Hey, don’t do that. That’s not okay.” But if we get addicted to anger, we get resentful. Resentment allows you to feel justified and empowered in your feelings of anger and hurt. But in truth it holds you back and taints your own well, drying up your resources of forgiveness and goodwill.

Resentment can feel like a badge of honor, but that’s just your ego faking you out. Our resentments can provide us with important clues on where we don’t feel witnessed or seen, or where we have overgiven or been hurt. It’s a place where we don’t want to let go or forgive. Sometimes, if we forgive someone, it can feel like we’ve released that person from any responsibility and that what they did to us is okay.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.